MISS February
Yea, Yea, Yea, I've featured Kristin
before, but that was 100 years ago and I got a new picture. Besides,
her lawyer told me all the old information was now bogus and out of date.
We all know how important it is to be on the cutting edge!
It looks like she might actually graduate
if she doesn't spend too much time listening to this loud rock music that
rots all the kids brains. I think she gave up on that Brady Movie
guy cuz she spends lots of time with some dude named Ryan. (Awwwwwwwww!)
Her website has evolved from South Park
to KoRn. Oh well, at least she's getting her veggies!
VITAL STATISTICS:
NAME: STILL Kristin
LOCATION: Hasn't moved an inch since the last
Bio.
OFFSPRING: Not bad, but she prefers
KoRn!
DADDY: Same guy, different pants.
MOMMY: One word...Gumdrop Cookies!
(Oh wait, that's TWO words!)
BROTHERS: If there wen't any last time, what
makes you think there are any this time!
SISTERS: She hasn't been able to sell
either of them, but the one got married to that California Stud!
MEASUREMENTS: May I remind you her father
has connections with law enforcement...next!
TALENTS: I dunno, she really hasn't done anything since her
Marsha Brady impression 2 years ago at the Zoo. Of course what else
is there to do at 17? Watch DVD's, Listen to CD's, sneak boys into
your room...
TODAYS COLOR: That question is SOOOO
last Millenium!
TOP TEN THINGS BOYS SAID WHEN SHOWN HER PICTURE AT THE MALL
10 It's not nice to call her
a dingwell! Oh, that's the Photographer...nevermind
9 Is that her sister's
picture on her shirt??
8 Man, she has a
really nice....CD Collection
7 Sorry, I prefer
old, tall, fat & ugly chicks...
6 Wow, no more Brady
Bunch guy? I guess the bad luck charm in the 2nd movie was REAL!
5 Where's the bag
of chips??
4 Where can I get
a Ryan mask?
3 No Honey, she's
not as attractive as you...really! Hey, why are you slapping me!
2 [Crude Salt Valley
View Joke Deleted]
1 I see she has
a well rounded diet of Eminem's and Korn...but no Meatloaf?