To lose one's mind is a terrible thing...

I work from a very different part of the brain.  I used to have sunday school teachers look at me funny and say things like, "That's not what I was getting at...although your point is not at all wrong!"  Hence, my philosophy.

Life isn't always what you see and it's all going to change when you aquire your next piece of new insight regarding the galaxy.  The humorous side of my fellow carbon life forms has always intrigued me. We are walking contradictions.
Before we dive into the deep end, let me warn you of a couple of things.  I've been told I could be the ADHD poster child.  That means I'm fidgety, creative, easily distracted and able to leap tangents in a single bound!  There's something going on in my head, I know that.  I've been told I look at life differently than others,  that I tend to treat my friends better than most people treat their significant others, and despite my view from left field, I would be absolutely no fun if they put me on drugs to cure it.  I'm not entirely convinced that we all look at reality the same way anyhow, so there you have it!
The Equal Gender known as Female
A woman can get breast implants, plastic surgery, invest in Mary Kay yet still come up empty in my book. I'm quirky that way. I go for what's inside, and I take my time about it. I've never figured out how to kiss a woman's lipstick.  Why all the disguises?  What else is there?
Have you ever wondered why some Middle aged women, with natural assets and low self esteem spend their time getting offended when a guy talks about finding a nice woman.  It's as though his discovery is some sor tof put down.  When will you ladies figure out that you can ALL have your own wonderful flair, and that there is no contest going on???

People simply seem obsessed in putting themselves down.  "He's not attracted to me, so I must be worthless".  Those people then spend hours and hours "chasing" what's not there.  Where's the balance between assualt and flattery?  It's as unbecoming to put down yourself as it is to be full of yourself.  And either way, most people won't buy the extreme's anyway.
Perhaps I'm just not paying attention.  It took 10 years to find the right companion, and I was in no hurry.  I guess I'm abnormal for not going head over heels about every single woman and moving in with them after a week.    By the same token, I don't understand how so many people find the "mate of their dreams" every other week.  It's ludicrous to believe that we can evaluate another person in a couple of sittings when most of us have spent a majority of our life trying to figure out ourselves!
Maybe I'm just cranky because I'm the guy people run to when they get jilted.  I've got a tough skin that way.  I love listening.  It's a lost art.  I do however notice that a number of regulars are coming to me every 3 to 4 weeks after losing the man of their dreams. again.  Where did this race for the ultimate equal, in less than 60 seconds come from.  I'm of the opinion people need to relax more and enjoy life in the 'romance' department.  I attribute the fact that I have so many female friends to my 'casual' way of approaching females.  Are they attractive, you bet!  Could they show me a good time, I'm certain of it!  For some reason I don't need to race.  Maybe I just like practicing on the entire female species?  It's nice to be nice!

Something Humans can do for each other
I started the "Random Acts of Kindness" program many years ago, and so far have only freaked out one individual.  One day I decided that I was tired of fighting the 'rules' and started doing decent things for those who deserved it, needed a little ray of sunshine in their day, or were fun to watch get nailed with the honor!  While I ignore the rules, I do use a dose of common sense.  If you go out sending 2 dozen roses to everyone, you're not doing this right.  Take three deep breaths, absorb a moment of reality, and then see how an action or gift will benefit the other (Note:  Not how it will benefit you).  Listen in May to what they've always wanted but never gotten...give it to them at Christmas.  And most importantly, be sincere.  Most smart people see through the staged stuff.  As difficult as it can be to wrangle with the insecure reactions of a few people who don't like what you are doing for others (I think it's called jealousy), always do what your heart says.

Is it Romance or is it Candid Camera??
Once you master the random acts of kindness, you are ready to focus on your own needs and move forward.  This is where you end up falling madly in love, seeing fireworks, and...nah!  Ok, you might see fireworks, but it's not guaranteed.   Sometimes it's more subtle.  On occasion, all you get is the backfiring sound of a 1979 Ford LTD Wagon (the kind with that fake wood on the sides!).

If you look around at couples you have to believe there is some invisible force playing out the magic of "who ends up with who".   Each of us have a perfect mental picture of the person we are going to end up with, yet people hardly ever end up with anyone matching the sketch. So, what do you do? Relax and enjoy life!
Bars are nothing more than shallow meat markets and dating services are expensive and awkward. I guess if you're real insecure, you might want to use one...heaven forbid you should actually have to ask someone out on your very own.  (Ah, the cynic in me is showing!)  I'm one who still has trouble believing the internet is a way to meet romantic interests, yet that doesn't keep it from happening.  Do what you need to do...just be careful, ok?
Oh..and While I'm ripping the entire American way of meeting your mate to shreds....One aspect  of dating seems very plastic. Why do you clean yourself up better than you have in months, toss on the nice threads you only wear on first dates and put on a show to lure someone? Wouldn't the REAL you be more honest and attractive? Call me silly!  (Especially when we do all this after getting past the point where we are too busy generating reasons why a person would say NO).  By all means, bathe!

Use Sunscreen..and your brain!
A friend once shared a story about his neighbor. She was what you would call attractive/hot/sexy/all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips! She would sit out on her roof all summer catching rays. My friend would have loved to call her but assumed there were already a couple of dozen guys already doing that. Years later he found out she DID like him and would have loved for him to call.
But. what about those other dozen or so guys calling??  They assumed a different dozen guys were calling her and never bothered either.   (Why else would she spend the summer on her roof, instead of out with those dozen guys, ya nut!)

Your imperfection is what makes you a perfection
If we accepted the fact that the perfect mate is not perfect, we would be much better off.  The rest of your life will not contain a melodically orchestrated soundtrack of romantic music in the background, no matter how wonderful your mate turns out to be.
When I look at the perfect woman, she's perfect only because her quirks and flaws work in sync with my own.  She knows my strengths and weaknesses and accepts them, without question. (It'll blow your mind, once you realize what's happening.)  She doesn't always understand them, but she's confident enough to realize they are not a reflection on her.  They are a reflection on me...the man she loves and cares about.  I'm not anybody else, nor am I going any place else.
Just as I anticipate her, she anticipates me and my moods, tangents, ghosts, internal battles, charm, warmth, sweetness and the occasional freaked out behavior that has her wondering what on earth possessed her to hang out with me!.  It's based on acceptance of the whole package, not the parts you like or fantasize about.  You can't ignore the parts you don't like.  In fact, if you look at these things more closely, you might even begin to appreciate them as little signatures of a unique person.
Most people are under the impression that some folks are better than others.  We aren't!  What you make of yourself is 90% attitude and in nobody's hands but your own.  The things which make us different are the things that should bring us together.  If you concentrate on those sorts of things however,  you miss the most important part of who an individual is.  If you don't understand something, be daring and find out what it's all about.  This is the very downfall that makes you stand at your friends wedding, look at who they've chosen as a life partner, and say "What in the world is that freak Harry doing with that psycho nutball Sally".
Chances are there's a private world that's just their own, that you will never understand.  It's not your job to understand...but if you do, beware!  You might become jealous of what that person has found, which you snubbed or dismissed!

In conclusion (How long can he drag it out!)
So, we can  spend our life taking ourselves and everything around us WAY too seriously, or we can kick back and enjoy  life, people...and no doubt confuse those who are enslaved in perception (Nifty catch phrase, eh?)  I believe the key to the importance of anything is "will it matter in 100 years". 

When I was doing that radio thing, I once had a Program Director rip me to shreds during an evaluation for playing a song out of order. I didn't realize that playing Madonna BEFORE Chicago's hit from the previous year would lose our audience.  It's called an error. Why not point out something I can use to make the presentation better.  Perhaps it's the fact that my voice sounds so much better when I use the low end of my range and don't force it (you sexy hunk of a man, you!), or something educational.  Chances are when you're pumping out 6 hours of commercial free non-stop 10 in a row all hit power plays, you're going to accidentally trip once in awhile.  Don't waste energy on the things that really don't matter.
This brings me to the concept of work; It fascinates me. Many times, instead of pausing for a moment before doing something really creative and earth shattering , we are required to waste time 'looking' busy.  Why else would top executives spend three days in meetings deciding how to get messages between two separate offices? Install an expensive E-mail link? Hire a courier?  (Pssst!  I know this sounds silly, but why not write these messages on little pieces of paper and relay them to the person? Sometimes the old fashioned way is still efficient and has it's place in the new millennium.)
We make Life much to complicated at times.

'Extreme' Organized Religion
Time to offend again.  No, I'm not going to give the typical "There is no g*wd" because I haven't bothered to even think about it very long" response.  I happen to believe such a deity exists. It's Capital G, with an O not an - or an *, and the only other letter is d.  Show an old guy with no days off, no vacation and mandatory overtime some respect!  For those of you who are late to HERstory class, don't get upset when I refer to God as "he".  It's not a literal reference to the male gender.  I think far too many people get bogged down in the semantics.  Chances are, the 7 days aren't a literal seven units, each containing 24 hours.

It may surprise a few people that as a Christian, I also have my OWN views and thoughts (I thought he was summarizing this section about an hour ago....) so don't expect me simply to regurgitate the lines out of the books we read in Sunday School.

Religion is the largest stage of humor. When I say that, many people will have automatically judged me as somebody who could not be a Christian. It's amazing how some of the people who are supposed to strive to be like their savior are anything but Christ-like. I don't mean to be overly critical.  There are many spirit lead people out there doing a great job. I happen to believe there is room for interpretation and yes, I believe God has a sense of humor.  If you don't believe me, take a look at the Duck-billed Platypus.

On the other hand, there are some extreme things being done in the name of Religion.  It's very disheartening.  I find many people are turned off by people who are caught up in the staging and appearance of their idea of who God must be.  It's almost as though they are riding the fad of the week.  Much like some people MUST have the popular name brand jean of the year.
Well, I have news for all of you people with enough Perfect Attendance pins to anchor a ship in it's harbor!  There's more to it than coffee and donuts between services.  Thank God too, because some of us  have sins larger than 'eating too many cookies at age five'. It's ironic that the people church was intended for are often shut out by the righteous people, pent up on using the bible as a weapon. While I'm ranting...Despite the thousand or so utterances of this phrase, the strongest argument in favor of Christianity is not "because the bible says so". (If your friend jumped off a bridge would you....oh, never mind!)

God gave everyone a brain, so why not use it? (and I'll shock some people by saying a few who have used their own brain have decided they don't need a God!)  Everything in the bible that has been given a "good" or "bad" label can usually be justified by logic,  reason,  or by good argument and interpretation by someone led by the spirit of their faith. I have much more respect for a person who has looked for a God and hasn't found it, than a person who blindly follows what their parents told them or the person who sits around saying "I just don't know if one exists". I always think, "well, wouldn't it be a good idea to find out?"
Why does everything have to be 'good' or 'bad' anyway? IS it possible that certain things were put on this earth that are neither? (Look at Gummy Bears!)  Often times a prejudice is the reason given for a right or wrong. It's one thing not to eat pork because it's infested with disease, but don't go around saying that God instructed you to do so unless you can show me where it's written. Don't put words in God's mouth.  Don't get me wrong, there ARE bad things in the world creating problems. (Two Words: Brittany Spears)   I'm not against the 10 commandments or anything shocking like that. Although, they can all be brought together under the greatest lifestyle focus of all..."do unto others".  AHA!  See, it's much more simple than most choose to make it.
While I'm ranting against two-faced judgmentalists...I get a big question mark above my head when I see things like the "Disney Boycott" by the Southern Baptists. Within 24 hours of the boycott being announced there were excuses why these "good Christians" were breaking the ban. I think sometimes Christians believe they have the right to cast their morality onto the world simply because they claim to know God, and are therefore exempt from their own judgment.
It's critical that there is a system of checks and balances among Christians. It may keep a brother or sister from straying onto the wrong path, or open up an opportunity to debate (a form of learning, not an evil force)! Why do we take debate in an offensive way? If you can't defend your faith, then how do you know what it is?
When it comes down to it, I believe you set by example and make a much bigger impact than walking around, carrying a cross, acting holier than thou, telling everyone in line for the haunted house that they are going to hell. Who would want to spend eternity with this kind of person anyway?
Ultimately,  we each have our own view of the world.  It's influenced by life experience.  That in itself contains no 'right' or 'wrong'.   When we begin assuming that someone elses world is our world, we get into trouble.  If more people would put aside the petty arguments, the crusades to find how they had been wronged, the reasons they are better than someone else and all the other garbage, the world would be a much better place.  Then maybe we would see the wonder of knowing God.  

Now go do something spectacular to somebody who you didn't think deserved it 15 minutes ago...I'm Dr. Laura